You drive me up the pictures
You send me round the bend
Keep me spinning sideways
It seems to never end
Kneed me in the cobblers
Sloshed me round the face
Hoofed me up the jacksee
Have I got a saving grace

Treat me like a dish cloth
Will I come back for more
Dip me in the bucket
Make me scrub the floor
Insist I scrub the karsee
Then do the washing up
Work me to a frazzal
Till you think I’ve had enough

You make me walk a tightrope
And keep me on the cusp
You like to run me ragged
Cos you like acting tough
You love to dish out orders
Assume to rule the roost
Watch me do your ironing
And squeeze you orange juice

Send me for your shopping
And buy your cigarettes
Don’t forget the omo
Then fold the serviettes
You use me like a doormat
Boot me with your clogs
Get me cleaning windows
And walk the fucking dog

I don’t get what your doin
I can’t hear what your saying
The chimney needs a sweeping
Lightbulbs need replacing
The carpet wants a beating
The roofs got a leak in
The grass expects a mowing
That sock has got a hole in

Hurry up hurry up
Get a move on
A woman’s tongue never rusts !!!